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The Barking Yam

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Post by Henry Travers Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:49 pm

While the bar may be an older building, Von herself confirmed the height of the ceiling at 9 feet. Additionally, there is this line in your previous post in which you acknowledge it as such:

"It would radiate ten feet of protection up from the ground, and this ceiling was only nine feet tall, as was the average height in all first floors in buildings."

The escape attempt stands and as was previously stated, Joseph will not be forced into unconsciousness so long as the detrimental effects listed in my previous post are realistically factored into subsequent posts.

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Post by Joseph Magnus Tue Nov 04, 2014 11:40 pm

Spoiler:

Joseph knew that his runes would begin to wear out eventually, he had used up his original rush of power to get himself out of that place and away from that blasted fire.

Joseph was pretty sure that he had killed the creature, but in the world of the supernatural nothing was certain.

He managed get a pretty good distance away from that place in a short amount of time. He would pay for his expenditure of energy later, but for now, the burning sensation of magic coursed through his veins and in it, he found ecstasy, and the drive to continue pushing himself.

He made sure to take a few turns here and there, always trying to confuse and to go randomly as far away as he could. There were plenty of houses, plenty of cars, and plenty of everything actually to help make his escape. This was New York baby, the big apple itself.

Though soon enough Joseph made sure to use his rune to unlock another car, this one was small and dark, easily hidden, easily unnoticed, and hopped in it as soon as he could. He switched his rune to the ignition, turning it with it. Who needed keys when you could just move the lock.

It started without a problem and Joseph was soon on his way cruising the streets of New York city at a safe, 45 mph. increasing when it was safe and not a completely outrageous speed for the area. Easily enough to outrun this blood sucker. And get him safely out of dodge from anymore of his attacks.

Joseph's runes would wear off soon however, and at that point he knew he would start feeling massive pain, maybe even start shivering. Possible fever, he had no idea. He couldn't push himself like this anymore, it was too much. He would be old and decrypted by the time he was twenty five.

Spoiler:
Joseph Magnus
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Post by Henry Travers Wed Nov 05, 2014 12:18 am

I have once again been asked to step in and make some rulings on the newest post. I will address your arguments in the order they were raised.

1. Blinding: Even if we are to proceed on the belief that you have the ability to instantly Solar Flare anyone within sight without warning (which sounds utterly ridiculous to me but that's an unrelated matter as the sheet was passed), it will not play out as you intended. Refer to Seymour's post immediately proceeding the post in which you activated your rune of light. The character is described as crouched behind the bar tossing bottles over his shoulder at Joseph. Assuming that Joseph can only conjure the light at a location he can see (which I WILL enforce), it would have been, at worst, over Seymour's head or behind him entirely. Considering the power of the light, the presence of dark spots in Seymour's eyes seems to be a fair compromise despite him not looking directly at it. Of course, even if full blindness were to take effect, Seymour's use of the Third Eye negates most of the time advantage you claim to have. Additionally, according to the wording of Joseph's sheet:

"The people who are blinded are blinded for one of their posts."

With this in mind, even if Seymour were to be blind in his last post, his vision would be restored in his upcoming post regardless.

2. Free Running: Though it has been brought up several times already, it appears as though several facts need to be repeated. At the moment, Joseph has not slept for several days, is underfed to the point of weight loss, physically drained, consumed alcohol, engaged in multiple rapid fire rune conjurings, and stacked a debilitating self buff on top of that. As was ruled earlier, Joseph is not in any reasonably state to run through an urban city at such great speeds. Adrenaline is not an indefinite source of strength, the human body has very real limits, and by Joseph's own admission he has "used up his original rush of power."

At best, Joseph could reasonably be expected to make it half a block (at a generous MAX) before collapsing from exhaustion. The escape request is denied and all content of the post detailing it (all lines following "Joseph was pretty sure that he had killed the creature, but in the world of the supernatural nothing was certain.") will be considered void.
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Post by Joseph Magnus Wed Nov 05, 2014 6:52 pm

Joseph felt the horrible hollowness inside of him, a terrible deep sense of fatigue that screamed to him he would be unable to continue at his pace. Even though his abilities had been enhanced, it seemed he wouldn't get very far before he collapsed. Speed or no speed he almost thought a normal jog might kill him.

He had made his way out the door, he had stalled that beast, but he wouldn't outrun it. Not in his condition.

Almost as an instinct of some kind, Joseph placed a pentagram on his side of the closed door. It inscribed itself on the door and began to radiate it's protection once more.

Though that creature seemed to have some sort of sense beyond just sight to see things, he wouldn't be able to see his pentagram, or his hand, those were etherial, only he would know where they lay.

Joseph possessing his pistol in his right hand and the shotgun with his rune, was ready to begin blasting away at this creature. His speed was still superior at this point, though he couldn't use it to run away from this beast, he could indeed use it to get done what he needed in a very short amount of time. Placing his rare rounds from his spare barrel in to the gun, while the other set up a decent position of his choosing, utilizing his ability to control it without needing to hold it.

Joseph knew that rune would soon wear off on him, but, at the same time. He had used it well enough not to regret this. Time would have to tell him just how well he had used it exactly. Hopefully it would be enough.

The situation seemed so intense at the moment, that he was actually glad to hear those dreaded sirens in the distance.

Spoiler:
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Post by Seymour Harris Wed Nov 05, 2014 7:34 pm

Wow, what a dick. Trapping that poor lady inside like that. If he could find the appropriate outfit, he might bust in and save her like one of those studly firemen. Right now, though, he had this ass to contend with.

For some reason, he just really wanted that bar closed. Meanwhile, Seymour's just chillin' outside all like, "'Sup, bro?" wondering why he hates that girl so much. Did she steal from him? Rebuff his love? I bet that's it. He's got the hat for that sort of behavior. Misogynistic pig...

Oh well. While that guy's busy trying to fumble around with runes and trying to whip out some sweet Matrix shit with his guns, all he had to do was stretch his fist over (a few inches, considering how close those poor windows are to the door) and punch him in the base of the neck. Super strength is a fun thing, so that'd pretty much shatter his spine and paralyze him from the neck down. That wouldn't be it, though. He had a lot of fun planned for this guy.

(OOC) Yo, I already established I'm out of the bar in the last post. Thanks for ignoring that, but I kind of like the fresh air. You did a good job of trapping Von, though. Upstanding lad.
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Post by Joseph Magnus Thu Nov 06, 2014 12:27 am

Spoiler:

Idiot. He struck his own hand against the barrier that Joseph just erected. Did he not realize by now that the blasted thing spread outwards in all directions? Ah well. Wasn't his problem. Luckily for him he had heard the crashing of glass just before Joseph could get his barrier up. Lucky him. He had managed to beat his speed. This vampire must have been holding back the entire fight or something.

Being faster than this vampire, though it certainly didn't seem it. Joseph used this moment to blow away his arm with his shotgun. Not that that really mattered. He would just stretch up a new one or some crap like that. But it was a scratch, and that was what he wanted. Having placed his shotgun very near the area where that punch would fall Joseph took advantage of this creature seemingly not knowing that his punch was going to stop right there. Giving him the perfect target. Planning ahead eh, worked wonders.

Also utilizing his speed he began to shoot his rounds at the creature, he could either move or take them, but either way Joseph would react to where he would be going, and where he would be forcing this vampire with his bullets. The choice was his.
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Post by John Smith Thu Nov 06, 2014 12:59 am

(OOC) Autohits abound. You can't call a hit with your gun, nor with the barrier (I think that was a hit, at least).

Your speed boost is gone. You activate it at the end of the Molotov post, and two have passed since then for a total of three.

You're very unclear as to what you're shooting at me in the last paragraph. If it's your pistol, it's impossible. Your sheet says the magic hand only works on runes. For you to hold your shotgun, you would need to use a rune on it, which deactivates your other arm. So, either you ditched your staff at some point and didn't tell anyone, or you're stuck with a floating shotgun and nothing else.

It does not matter how fast your magic that's worn off has made you. You have been awake for days. You have been drinking. Your only meal in a long while has been nuts from the bar. You've been casting runes like a possessed discus thrower and just jumped over a table and smashed through a door, all while your body is pushed far beyond natural human limitations while already in shambles. Now, you've also got a migraine. You're as done as anyone can possible be without being dead. Frankly, I'm not sure why you aren't dead from exhaustion.

Request ruling to void offending actions.
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Post by Von Smackie Thu Nov 06, 2014 1:59 am

Von watched in horror as Joseph and the strange vampire attacked each other and destroyed her bar. She observed them taking their fight to the streets, far too late for her liking. She also saw Joseph place one of those barrier things over the front window and door, effectively trapping her and Big Al inside. What a dick. As far as he knew that was the only way in and out of this place. Again, what a dick. Letting go of the door to the office it opened to reveal a panicked Big Al.

“What the hell happened?” he barked at her, taking in his bar.

“Crazy guy set fire to the bar,” she replied, grabbing him and hauling him out of the office. Von lead Big Al quickly through the smoke filled bar to the back room and opened the door. Ushering him inside, they crossed the room to the back door and unlocked it. Swinging open the door they tumbled out into the back alleyway. Reflexively, Von wiped the back of her hand across her brow and Big Al bent over in a coughing fit. She should have just called the cops the moment Joseph told her he was a murderer. What kind of person didn’t call the cops on someone like that? God damn it.

She was so fired.
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Post by Henry Travers Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:42 pm

Ruling:

1. Seymour's fist striking the barrier will not be considered an autohit as the barrier was plainly created in Joseph's preceding post.

2. The shotgun blast to Seymour's arm will be voided as an autohit due to the conclusory wording in the post. Joseph can certainly shoot at Seymour's arm but going so far as to declare a hit without allowing the opponent to respond is a violation of the rules.

3. Referring to Joseph's sheet, the time rune has a 1 post casting time and a 3 post duration following that. Not counting the escape post with the car (as it was voided per Staff ruling), Joseph's most recent post is the third and final post in which he will have access to his speed boost.

4. Regarding the issue with the available guns, the interpretation will be done using the maxim of expressio unius est exclusion alterius (the expression of one thing is the exclusion of another). Because Joseph has posted using both of his guns in such a manner, Seymour is correct in that the only reasonable explanation is that the staff was dropped after leaving bar and that interpretation will be enforced.
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Post by Seymour Harris Thu Nov 06, 2014 5:34 pm

(OOC) You got it, Bossmen.

Stupid barriers. All day, all night. Nothing but barriers. On the roads, on the sidewalk, and now in the middle of the air. Just can't catch a break. Oh well, not a problem. By virtue of rubber limbs, it just bounced on off. Apparently, this was for the better, since a neat little shotgun blast just came over him. Avoidance is the best defense. And, look at that, a neat little staff on the ground all for him.

Grabbing the staff with his stretchy limb, he bounded into the air, more gunfire passing harmlessly by. He landed on top of the completely powerless sign, saying, "Woob woob woob woob woob!" all the way like the proud lobster people of old. Now he had a cool new toy to play with. Raising it over his head, he began to chant, "Ouga chaka! Ouga ouga ouga chaka!"
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Post by Joseph Magnus Thu Nov 06, 2014 8:49 pm

Spoiler:

Hm, this thing just couldn't seem to get enough of his power. He must be a little slow honestly. Like the guy that couldn't figure out that fire was hot until he burned himself ten times on the same flame.

Joseph saw his arms bounce of his barrier about three times before he jumped up on to the sign above him only to start chanting something.

Yep. He still couldn't figure this guy out honestly. But ah well. He supposed it could be worse, and he could be fighting a competent opponent.  

Joseph shot at the monster again, but this time moved the guns to a better angle, taking the time this creature used to pound his fists against his barrier to set up his shots. Their bullets criss crossing each other's directions so that no matter if he moves left or right they would hit him. He couldn't go down because of the barrier, so he wasn't afraid of him diving on him; and the decent spread of the shotgun shell should prove to be quite widespread indeed, peppering the entire area of the sign with shot.

Joseph attempted to hide the pain he was now experiencing. So he scowled in what appeared to be anger. Truth be told, he was friking miserable. But that didn't matter. He would not give up this fight, despite the pain. He couldn't. His hatred would sustain him long enough. He wasn't going to give up, especially not with the tantalizing pleasure of another kill just in front of him.

He didn't even take notice of the growing sirens now, though they seemed many and getting closer.

Spoiler:
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Post by John Smith Thu Nov 06, 2014 9:18 pm

Your speed is great. A bullet is still a bullet. It's not affected by your magic. Your location within this barrier is super vague. I have no idea where you are in it, nor where my fist would land in relation to how close you are. As far as I can tell, it's totally possible to have at least a 3-4 foot gap between us. Your autohit is, and has been ruled, invalid.

Pointless comment is pointless and just serves to disrespect someone. Good work.

Since you totally neglected to say where your staff was, and that you never actually said you dropped it and would otherwise be making illegal action if you hadn't, I have the right to respond to it in my post. As far as I'm concerned, you've lobbed it over your shoulder and out of the circle by a nub.

I'm sure your runes run on fairy dust, or some such immaterial power. Runes or not, you are done. You cannot keep fighting. Numerous people have explained to you why you cannot continue doing what you're doing. You continue to ignore it and act like you can "fight through the pain" of not eating or sleeping for days, drinking alcohol, fighting for your life, pushing your body past human limits, and having a migraine. What you are doing is godmodding. Your character cannot physically continue to battle.
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Post by Henry Travers Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:20 pm

Ruling:

"Bullet Speed": While the time rune does not increase the speed of the bullet itself, it does increase Joseph's reaction time, allowing him to better lead his targets in much the same way that the Executioner and Brandon Cole do. With that in mind, I am imposing a non lethal bullet wound on Seymour. Though I won't require a lethal injury, I expect the wound to be of relative significance (nothing like only losing a pinky).

"Staff": Seymour is correct in that the lack of any detail regarding the location of the staff is exploitable. We will proceed under the understanding that an end of it was sticking out of the barrier and his theft of it was successful.

"Exhaustion": While I will not force unconsciousness, I do take the detrimental effects of a migraine very seriously. Despite what certain fiction would have you believe, a true migraine goes beyond a simply headache. They are downright debilitating. The migraine, combined with prior exhaustion and sleep deprivation should AND WILL be expected to play a SIGNIFICANT role in hampering Joseph's ability to focus and fight, especially when performing tasks requiring particular finesse such as aiming a firearm.

"Ammo": There has been some confusion regarding ammo counts in the last few posts. Because of this, I want mention (IC or OOC) of the ammunition remaining in all weapons in every post.
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Post by Seymour Harris Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:45 pm

Bullet right in the arm. Hurts so good. Actually, it was quite painful. Not exactly good, when you think about it. Oh well. Probably a blessing on the thing. Made it hard to move. He can deal, though. The question is, then, can YOU? Probably. You're all lovely people. Except Chet. Fuck him.

Apparently, more bullets. Aim seemed a bit off, though. About the only chance he had from where those bad boys were aiming was clipping his shoulders. All he had to do was drop down behind the rusty sign and all would be avoided. The roof was getting nice and toasty now. He'd get off pretty soon, and so would the sign. He kicked it and, with only a little force, the reddish brown bolts snapped loose, the behemoth came toppling down. Poor little kitty wouldn't be jumping out of that hat no more. He estimated, with just a cursory glance, at least, this bad boy to be about four feet wide and five feet height. Just an estimate obviously. With any luck, it'd make this guy a pancake. Batter, mostly. But they had plenty of heat to cook him with.

(OOC) Sizes confirmed by Von Smackie and most definitely NOT an estimate. Ninja no ninjaing.
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Post by Joseph Magnus Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:41 pm

Spoiler:

Joseph breathed in deeply as his hand shook while he tried holding his gun straight. This had never happened to him before...what exactly, "this" was, he couldn't say. But he knew it was bad.

That creature had decided after dancing and being shot once or twice to push that sign over on him. He might be slow, but he would have to be really dense not to have expected that.

Joseph having an advantageous position while the thing was being pushed over originally backed up about two feet to avoid the thing entirely. Thankful he had let gravity do it's work, and not tossed it at him. He was still within side of his pentagram pretty well he noticed. Though, not all that clearly, as much as he didn't want to admit this to himself, his condition was rather serious.

His footing was off and he almost stumbled with that last step he took. His next couple shots with the pistol suffering drastically because of this, and completely flying in random directions, missing their intended target.

However this creature hadn't moved at all hardly, and the shotgun that he possessed hadn't stopped shooting at him. In fact, by pushing down that sign his target took away his only source of cover from his blasting firearm.

The shotgun continued to fire at him turning slightly to follow his new position and only get a more direct hit on him. Joseph was concentrating so hard on maintaining this prime positioning for his weapon and blowing rounds at him as best he could, that something happened to him completely unexpected.

He lost control of his magic. He lost control of one of his runes of light, it erupted violently from it's prison startling Joseph, who's mouth almost dropped at the prospect of this happening. Still though, his gun, he needed to fire his gun, he needed to continue blowing this creature to chunks. He couldn't be distracted keeping his runes at bay, if they wanted to explode fine. This creature needed to die.

Spoiler:
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Post by John Smith Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:53 pm

He is behind the sign. Your attack is blocked by the sign. Talk about spray all you want, but you cannot aim for shit. You're more likely to hit my puffy sleeves than any part of my body.

You've already assumed autohits on me. Again.

There is no possible way for you to expect him to push the sign at you. Not only that, he kicked it off. Your assumption that it made some kind of slow, graceful descent towards the ground is unfounded. Not only that, you've described it as so rusted and old that, even without super strength, a good shove would send that thing flying off.

How are you still firing a shotgun while you're stumbling around and trying to avoid a giant sign?

You don't have your staff. You cannot use your runes in any capacity. Especially not to distract me like that.

Your shotgun is pump action. You cannot continuously fire it like that. You have to PUMP it if you want to reload, which takes time. Your spray is too wide, too.

At the very least, your legs are broken.
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Post by Joseph Magnus Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:08 am

John Smith wrote:He is behind the sign. Your attack is blocked by the sign. Talk about spray all you want, but you cannot aim for shit. You're more likely to hit my puffy sleeves than any part of my body.

Sign is a hat, and a cat, minor mechanical work behind it. Longer than it is thicker. Plus, shotgun's fire quite widely.

You've already assumed autohits on me. Again.

Request? Does this word...no longer mean what I think it means? Cause I requested damage I didn't auto hit you...Plus the reference to taking a bullet or two was already established by Tyler as true. Your character did, and Joseph doesn't know specifics right now. He is guessing.

There is no possible way for you to expect him to push the sign at you. Not only that, he kicked it off. Your assumption that it made some kind of slow, graceful descent towards the ground is unfounded. Not only that, you've described it as so rusted and old that, even without super strength, a good shove would send that thing flying off.

I've been anticipating that move for as long as Joseph has been outside, so, ya. It's been days. It's also the only big and heavy thing near you that you can use to get through the pentagram, once again. Putting Two and two together.

You can't kick it to the ground, it would fall straight down doing no damage to anything, it would just jack knife the ground, at least, I guess I was assuming that wasn't what you were going for. You mentioned pancakes, I thought you wanted him to get hit with the falt of the sign. That would have to fall downward and rely on gravity, not your kick to push it simultaneously forward and down somehow. Even if you did I think I'll pull one out of your book here and take advantage of your lack of detail.

How are you still firing a shotgun while you're stumbling around and trying to avoid a giant sign?

Mind powers? It's a rune, and a shotgun doesn't take all that much finesse. The draw back for this is the loss of a rune, and the loss of ammo as well as potential hits.

You don't have your staff. You cannot use your runes in any capacity. Especially not to distract me like that.

Runes don't work that. As I have already mentioned, many many many many many times. Plus, it was useless, it didn't distract you. I made sure to mention that it would do nothing, this comment throws me off honestly cuase that rune was literally only intended to harm me and no one else...

Your shotgun is pump action. You cannot continuously fire it like that. You have to PUMP it if you want to reload, which takes time.

If I may.

"He can control it like it is his own body part. Moving it as he could his hand. This would enable him to take control of a gun and fire it at maximum speed. Or a sword, fighting with it in mid air. "


Thats another quote from the character sheet.
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Post by Henry Travers Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:09 am

Ruling (apologies for the curt reply, shortened due to the frequency of rulings)  

- Shotgun hit requests denied

- Shotgun will be assumed to be firing as fast as the design will allow factoring in the lever action

- Activation of the light rune accepted due to its non-offensive nature

- Sign impact approved.  Extent of damage will be left up to the combatants.
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Post by Seymour Harris Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:25 am

Boy howdy, was that a nice tactic. All that damage he did. Really fun to look at, too. All that injury. Probably some blood gushing out of something. Maybe bone fragments.

But that's not important. Apparently this guy was shooting again with absolutely no aim or strategy to speak of. Now he's getting it. The revolver did it's thing (harmlessly) as he bounded off the roof and behind a wall of the bar, totally avoiding that shotgun before it even started to B to Blow. The dumpster was there, too, as was the old man. Stupid old man. Just the sight of his death face made him angry. Angry enough to punch that dumpster right at Mr. Hatman.

He gripped that thick piece of wood in his mouth, fisting the dumpster with his good hand, sending it flying towards the guy with a fist shaped dent of rage on the side. With whatever impressive injuries that sign drop had given him, he'd be pretty unable to dodge. If this didn't kill him, he's the Terminator.

(OOC)Death face for reference.

Stop posting out of characters. If your post doesn't say it, it's not valid. I do not need a map every time you take a piss.
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Post by Joseph Magnus Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:33 am

Spoiler:

Joseph knew that a couple of his fingers were broken, maybe his entire hand, his limp hand not having gotten out of the way of that sign soon enough. Curse it, it had dragged behind him while he stumbled backwards, though, at least he still couldn't really feel it. For all he knew it could be a paste and he wouldn't tell the difference. It was numb, and it was cold. That being said, he was only assuming the impact must have broken something.

Joseph saw the creature dive down on to the floor, and punch a dumpster at him. Well, that was none to graceful. Joseph took a step closer to the large sign which had been able to block the widespread spray his shotgun blast it was so thick and lowered himself.

The dumpster struck against the cat sign denting itself even more, though moving the sign a little bit, and span upwards sailing harmlessly over Joseph's head. This guy needed to step things up otherwise they would be playing this game of cat and mouse all night.

His shotgun coming back to him he started to load it, keeping his eye on that vampire. He would control his pistol with his rune now, and he would use this cover that the creature had been nice enough to provide him with.

Joseph loaded his blessed silver in to the shotgun while he worked, if this didn't shut that creature up, nothing would. He almost groaned as those sirens continued only ever growing as more and more were added to the mix; he didn't want to be caught by the police but honestly...he might have to pick his poison on this one.

With the amount of pain he was experiencing he would actually be looking forward to a nice cold prison floor to sleep on tonight.
Joseph Magnus
Joseph Magnus

Posts : 31
Join date : 2014-01-15

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Souls: 1
Organization: Independent
Race: Human

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The Barking Yam - Page 2 Empty Re: The Barking Yam

Post by Seymour Harris Fri Nov 07, 2014 11:05 am

He just couldn't get away. The sign was just too devastating. It devastated the dumpster, too, but it didn't even matter. The big trash receptical flipped, coming down squarely on the magic man's head with a HERRRRR SQUISH sound. "Goodbye, JoJo!" he exclaimed as it happened, dancing around at the murder he'd just committed. Probably wouldn't be getting those eyes, unfortunately.

(OOC) Unless you run like Naruto, there's no feasible way for the sign to have only broken a hand and nothing else. It would hit you legs, too, if that's the case.

Dumpster moving at high speeds either plows through the sign to get to you or flips over and crushes you. There is no aerial trash show.

If, in fact, it did break the laws of physics and flew over you, you would not have cover when reloading. If that is the case, then I will request an edit to my post.

At this time, however, I call a kill due to Joseph's inability to move from his spot and the fact the sign will either not stop the dumpster or cause it to flip and crush you.
Seymour Harris
Seymour Harris

Posts : 26
Join date : 2014-01-16

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Organization: Independent
Race: Vampire

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The Barking Yam - Page 2 Empty Re: The Barking Yam

Post by Henry Travers Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:31 pm

Ruling:

"Falling Sign": Based on the wording of the last few posts I do not see how a broken hand would have been the only injury due to "dragging behind" the rest of Joseph's body. Because Joseph only stumbled and did not fall, the reasonable course of events seems to be that the falling sign would have also struck his legs. The decision of whether or not the sign bounced enough on impact to not pin Joseph would normally be left up to the combatants but that will not be necessary in this case.

"Blocked Dumpster": Due to weight distribution, it is highly unlikely that the sign came to rest on its edge after landing. Taking the moving metal parts of the sign into account, the thickness can be estimated to be roughly 5 inches. It would therefore be this 5 inch edge striking the speeding dumpster. Now because I am no physics major myself, I wanted to consult someone with more experience than myself and called in a favor from my old roommate (recipient of a full tuition scholarship in physics).

According to our conversation, the contents of the dumpster matter quite a bit. Assuming it is roughly half full as the most fair measure, those contents would slosh forward upon striking the sign, tipping the center of balance. This, combined with the placement of sign relatively low against the dumpster, would indeed roll forward rather than launch into the air. That roll would indeed lead to the dumpster striking Joseph.

The kill request is approved.
Henry Travers
Henry Travers
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